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WarbossKurgan

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The Hopeless Anchor inn, Vercuso, Sartosa.

An elderly, one-eyed, bearded Orc pirate looked wistfully down into his empty grog-glass and sighed. He had run out of drink and run out of gold. There was only one thing for it…

“Gather round mates, and I’ll tell ye a tale of days gone by.” said Kommodore Deffgit in a louder-than-absolutely-necessary voice.

The assembled Orc and Goblin pirates looked up and started to move chairs and stools closer to the smoky fire. The Kommodore gave a significant glance at his glass and the nearest Goblin rolled his eyes but stuffed a hand in his pocket: he knew how this worked. A drink was ordered for the old Orc and the crowd settled down to listen.

Deffgit took a sip of grog and leaned back in his chair.

“This was back in the days before them beasts came to the island,” he began “back when the air was cleaner and the merchant ships were heavy with loot and ripe for plunderin’. They was heady days back then but deadly too; a crew’d follow their cap’n into the jaws of a squig-whale if’n they thought there was loot in it’s belly. But their wasn’t so much unity between the pirates here-abouts: There wasn’t no common enemy y’see?”

The crowd nodded to each other sagely.

“There was always a rivalry between the various cap’ns – whether it was for the best prizes when afloat, or the best drinkin’ hole ashore – but it came to a head back when some fool said he lost a magical hoo-jib in Vercuso at the end of the winter of 2459. Nigh-on fifty years ago! There was mayhem for a couple o’months while crews from all over the island, and further afield, came here lookin’ for it and the promise of power it held.”

Deffgit paused for a while, lit a pipe, and stared into the middle distance. After a few minutes the crowd began to shuffle and cough impatiently and the Kommodore seemed to remember where he was. He cleared his throat and continued.

“It was about this time when the crew of the Ogresun, the old Ogresun you understand – not the slab-sided gunboat you all know now but me first ship. Ah, she was a weatherly craft and no mistake. Trim lines, sharp sailing and solid built too…”

At this point Deffgit rambled on for half an hour about the sailing qualities and speed of his old command before he was steered back on course by the persistent questioning of three Goblins and the purchase of another glass of grog.

“Aarr, it was about this time when the crew of the old Ogresun were searching the ruins around Southgate, near where the river comes through the old town walls, and we stumbled upon a bunch o’them wretched Halflings, Cormorant Rams-Eye’s lot I think, they was robbing the empty houses by the river while we was securing the vacant properties by the wall.”

“We had gone though most of the houses on our side when the miserable little gitz spotted us and started running. We hadn’t any firearms with us so we relied on Hogbreff to throw firey death at them. As usual the death was somewhat lackin’ from his fiery throwings.” Deffgit chuckled “No offence Hogbreff!” in an aside. Hogbreff held up his mug and wobbled a bit to show none was taken.

The Kommodore went on “As usual it was their vicious pigs what did most harm. Fishgutz got a nasty bite on the leg which took an age to heal proper. They had a small chest with ‘em and they seemed keen to be keepin’ it from us. While they was fleein’ they was chatterin’ and swearin’ about this magical wassname – which was the first we’d heard about the damned thing mind. We’ll that started a chain of events… which I’ll tell ye about tomorrow.”

Deffgit finished his drink and left his audience wanting to buy him more. He grinned as he climbed the stairs to his room: tomorrows drinks would pay for themselves, and maybe the rest of the week if he could string out the tale of the Seal of Sigmund for long enough!

WarbossKurgan

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Boss: Kommodore Deffgit, 2x Club (86gc)
Shaman: Wrydtoof Hogbreff, Club (43gc)
Big'Un: Barnacle Nog, 2x Club (46gc)
Big'Un: Salty Oggbad, 2x Club (46gc)
3 Orc Boyz: Fishgutz, Bad Hook and Blind Fug, 2x Club (93gc)
3 Orc Boyz: Dubloon Dreg, Briney Duff and Scupper Lug, 2x Club (93gc)
2 Goblins: Dread Pirate RogUrtz and Stormy Trug, 2x Club (42gc)
2 Goblins: Walker Plank and Dirty Morrgun, 2x Club (42gc)

Total of 491gc

Starting WBR 130.

After first game WBR 144

zelophahad

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Wow Saul - that tripod has really helped with the photos hasn't it!

Brilliant report too - what a great way to do it!

WarbossKurgan

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zelophahad wrote:
Wow Saul - that tripod has really helped with the photos hasn't it!

Brilliant report too - what a great way to do it!

Tripod = winner! I'm really pleased with the improved image quality! The pics all seem so sharp and crisp... and in-focus!

I came up with the "framing device" of Deffgit telling tall tales of his glory days on my walk back to work after the game.
Anything I get wrong now is down to his memory-lapses after fifty years (rather than mine after an hour!)

zelophahad

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lol!

Andy

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Haha, brilliant. Good old Deffgit.

DeafNala

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HOORAY! LUNCHEIM RETURNS!
God but I've miss ALL the Swash Buckling Battle Reports & ALL the Ubercool photos.

WarbossKurgan

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Briny Beasties and Mauling Mastiffs

Deffgit leant back in his armchair, stretched out his legs and laboriously placed both feet onto a low stool near the fire. He drained his glass as an eager goblin brought another, full one. Looking round the bar of the Hopeless Anchor inn with his one good eye, he deemed the early evening crowd was ready to hear his continued tale.

He turned to Salty Ogbad and chuckled, “Remember that time when you was mauled by that big dog?” Ogbad looked uncomfortable but Deffgit carried on “you was out of action for a week after that, we laughed so hard!”

“Wasn’t that the same time that you was brained by a Pit Fighter, Kommodore?” said Ogbad, growing slightly annoyed.

“Hum, yes I think it may have been mate!” laughed the bearded Orc, “No wonder I don’t remember getting home that night – I’d assumed it was the grog.”

He turned to the packed bar and began the tail from the beginning, much to the relief of the bemused pirates.

“We was still searching for that blasted magical thing-a-me-bob, the Seal of Somebody, and the ship’s company had gathered by the harbour to examine the flotsam and jetsam that the morning tide had brought in. Rumours of a shipwreck in the night always brought a crowd to the docks but there was a singularly unsavoury bunch in Cheapside that day: A Witch Hunter and his cronies, a band of landlubbin’ Orcs and Goblins and a foul host of dead’unz: a Ghoul-King and his court.

We were bunched up to begin with with the ‘Hunter on our port side and the Ghouls on our starboard. I’d sent a couple of hands up into the roof of the nearest house to take pot-shots at the dead’unz as I didn’t fancy the chances of the Grotz standin’ their ground against ‘em!

I should have worried more about the Sigmarites though: they came storming down the alley with a the Pit Fighter hired sword at their fore and a pack o’ hounds at his heels. Dubloon Dreg was taken down by a couple of Zealots and Ogbad here was mauled by the doggies – they made a right mess o’ his arm. Hogbreff torched a Ghoul with his wyrding fire but the ladz up-top couldn’t hit nothing.

Then we heard Uglhog’s Boyz shoutin’ that the ‘loot’ floating ashore was just useless rubbish – empty barrels and the like – so we were about to leave ‘em all to it. But then old Slippery jack showed his squirmy tentacles so we decided to stick around and laugh at someone getting ate.

I guess that was when the Pit Fighter knocked me over the noggin and the lads must have carried us off.”

Kommodore Deffgit finished another glass off grog but he had lost count of how many he’d had. The old Orc started to ramble about the old Ogresun again then he dozed off. The customers of the inn got bored and found someone else to entertain them long before in the usual rounds of singing crude sea-shanties and fighting over imagined insults.

zelophahad

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Nice report and photos, Saul - and a good explanation for the early retirement from the game!

But isn't port the same as left??

WarbossKurgan

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Cheers Phil!

zelophahad wrote:
But isn't port the same as left??

Fixed!

WarbossKurgan

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JFactory::getDBO() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/loadmodule.php on line 24

Strict Standards: Non-static method JString::strpos() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/loadmodule.php on line 26

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::getPlugin() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 39

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::_load() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/plugin/helper.php on line 41

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRegistryFormat::getInstance() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/registry/registry.php on line 373

Strict Standards: Non-static method JFilterInput::clean() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/registry/format.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getBool() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 42

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getVar() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/environment/request.php on line 217

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JFilterInput::getInstance() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/environment/request.php on line 577

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getBool() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 43

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Boss: Kommodore Deffgit, 2x Club - 22xp
Shaman: Wrydtoof Hogbreff, Club - 12xp, WS4
Big'Un: Barnacle Nog, 2x Club - 17xp, Pit Fighter (skill: +1WS. +1A in buildings and ruins)
Big'Un: Salty Oggbad, 2x Club - 17xp, A2 (missing next game due to light arm injury)
3 Orc Boyz: Fishgutz, Bad Hook and Blind Fug, 2x Club, Bow - 2xp each, BS4
3 Orc Boyz: Dubloon Dreg II, Briney Duff and Scupper Lug, 2x Club, Bow - 2xp each, BS4 (Dubloon Dreg died and replaced)
2 Goblins: Dread Pirate RogUrtz and Stormy Trug, 2x Club - 2xp each, WS3
2 Goblins: Walker Plank and Dirty Morrgun, 2x Club - 2xp each, I4

Treasury of 15gc

Starting WBR: 130
Current WBR: 158

WarbossKurgan

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::importPlugin() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/viewtopic.php on line 598

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JFactory::getDBO() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/loadmodule.php on line 24

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::_load() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/plugin/helper.php on line 41

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getBool() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 42

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getBool() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 43

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Report and photos to follow soon(ish) but I just beat Tim even though his Dark Elves launched a Surprise Attack on the Ogresuns. Barnacle Nog made good use of his Pit Fighter skill and saw them off almost single-handedly!

Starting WBR: 130
Current WBR: 170

(Plus my win ratio this year crawls back up to 38%)

Frog

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::importPlugin() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/viewtopic.php on line 598

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::getPlugin() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 39

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::_load() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/plugin/helper.php on line 41

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRegistryFormat::getInstance() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/registry/registry.php on line 373

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i did only have 5 men! (well 2 men - one of which was at t2!- and 2 ladies!)

WarbossKurgan

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::importPlugin() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/viewtopic.php on line 598

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JFactory::getDBO() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/loadmodule.php on line 24

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::getPlugin() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 39

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::_load() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/plugin/helper.php on line 41

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getBool() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/plugins/content/pagebreak.php on line 42

Strict Standards: Non-static method JRequest::getVar() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/environment/request.php on line 217

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Strict Standards: Non-static method JFilterInput::getInstance() should not be called statically in /data04/aroberts/public_html/libraries/joomla/environment/request.php on line 577

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So? I only used one to beat you!

zelophahad

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Ouch!

WarbossKurgan

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Elven Ambush? Pirate Pounding!

"Haha!" laughed Kommodore Deffgit, "Nog, do ye remember the time that Dark Elf what called himself Darth More tried to ambush us near the Hook and Line inn?"

Barnacle Nog took a long pull on his pipe and thought hard for a minute or two before a glimmer a smile crossed his craggy green face.

"Aye, I do too! We was scattered all over searching for that blasted Seal when five of 'em started shootin' at us." said Nog through the clouds of pipe smoke that swirled around him. "First thing we knew was Blind Fug getting hit and fell off the old town wall (I don't mind admittin' I laughed a bit) I was up in the bedroom of a ruined town house then."

"Bad Hook was caught in the walled garden and he yelped like a Grot caught by a Facebiter Squig and ran back towards Hogbreff..."

".. 'caus two of the Skinnies came right towards 'im."

"Yeah," said Deffgit "I was upstairs an' all. I jumped down sharpish and headed towards ye..."

"... and I collected Bad Hook on the way. I gave 'im a clip round the ear and he saw sense. I think them lead-swingin' Goblins was preoccupied with swattin' each other as usual!" the Kommodore continued. "The shooty Elfs was tryin' to sneak round us and the should have been dealin' with 'em..."

The crowd in the bar was listening intently know, keen to hear the gory details that Barnacle Nog was well know for relating.

"It didn't last long mind" said Nog, with a nostalgic look in his one beady red eye, "Once I tricked a bunch of 'em into charging me I dealt with 'em cold-like." he chuckled, "the Boss-Elf was all full of himself so I planted a steel toe-cap in his unmentionables and knocked him on the noggin as he doubled over. Then his she-Elf had a pop at me and I gave 'er a taste o' cutlass. It didn't quite seem sport after that, there only being three of 'em left."

"Ahhhh... good times!" sighed Deffgit.

zelophahad

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Yarrr! Shame I couldn't be there to watch!

Andy

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Cool!

Frog

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you know i was so lucky it was an ambush! it let me come back into the game! I though I was a goner with those 5 men!

you and your Pit Fighter ability! it made the game for you! could have gone very differently! well played Saul!

WarbossKurgan

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It was all luck Tim - you had some really bad rolls when you were attacking Nog and I was making bad choices constantly. I soent most of the game trying to get pairs of Orcs into a position to charge and you kept shooting one of each pair!

It could have easily been a win to you about four times (ie every time you fluffed your "to hit" or "to wound" rolls against Nog!)

WarbossKurgan

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The Battle of Dumplington

Deffgit woke up with a start, sloshing grog from his mug and shouting; the twenty or so patrons of the Sunken Chest inn looked around with a mixture of surprise, trepidation and annoyance.

Not realising he was in a completely different pub, and three days had passed since he started his tale, he continued to recount the battle with Cormorant Rams-Eye and the Catering Corp.

"We was determined to take a slice o' the riverside neighborhood the walking lunch-boxes called Dumplin'ton. The scuttlebutt was that there was plenty of supplies, food an' the like, tucked away be them diminutive devils." he said. "We went in mob-handed. The crew was in fine spirits after given that Elf a bloody nose and they didn't fear no-one. Especially not a bunch a minnows!"

He thought for a minute, his one eye rolled around erratically. Then he snapped his gnarly green fingers and pulled a long clay pipe from within his voluminous beard. Once he'd packed and lit the foul-smelling tobacco, molasses and gunpowder mix he continued.

"They was hiddin' in the upper stories of several of the choices buildings. We figured that they must be were the stores was hid, so after securing a warehouse we made in that direction."

"The little bilge-rats was wedged in like limpets and, what with all their arrows rainin' down on us like a storm of the coast o' Lustria, we couldn't shift the blighters..." he tailed off slightly, staring into the dark rafters above and puffing on his pipe.

"Not even close." he muttered.

zelophahad

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Well, I enjoyed myself anyway...!

WarbossKurgan

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zelophahad wrote:
Well, I enjoyed myself anyway...!

Yeah, me too!

Current WBR: 196

WarbossKurgan

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Skull Bashers and Scurvy Dogs

The Lost Mariner inn, Vercuso.

“We ain’t seen them Skullbashas for a while Kommodore.” said Salty Ogbad as he put a tray of drinks down on the table by the fire.

“Whassat?” said Deffgit “Uglhog Eadkraka’s lot? Hmmm… remember the first time we crossed cutlasses with ‘em?”

Ogbad smiled to himself and said “Um, no I can’t say as I do Boss: When was it? What ‘appened?”

“We was after grabbing a chunk of the town, for a quite spot of looting like, and it seemed like old Eadkraka had the same notion. When we found we had a rival we charged in mob-handed. We took one of the three key buildings right on the jump (the corner of the old town wall) and sent a few hands into the second (a warehouse if I recall correctly). The rest of us circled round to starboard and aimed to storm the third vital building: the Pie Shop”

“Unfortunately Eadkraka’s ladz had the same idea and their main-force came round the same flank – right through the walled garden. Hogbreff went flyin’ into the warehouse to back up the Boyz in their but the Skullbasha’s Shaman turned up. It was like they was matchin’ us move for move! Uncanny like.”

“There was an almighty ruck, just in the breach in the garden wall. Most of both crews piled into it and a fair few lads on both side was knocked on the head – though none was fatal as I recall.”

“When darkness fell each warband had a building each and the warehouse was pepered with shots from both sides – the few hands what wasn’t injured in there fell back draggin’ their mates.”

Kommodore Deffgit mused for a few minutes as the battle replayed in his rum-addled mind “I guess you ain’t gonna get a decisive victory in such a circumstance... Not when both sides is proper green and Orcy, a frustratin’ly even match!”

Andy

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Kommodore Deffgit and The Seal of Sigmund

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