--»

Ade

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Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
"Some of the World War II guys in 'Call of Duty' have, like, foreign accents... what's up with that?"

Sorry. You have to be registered to access this content.

anathema

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Also:

After the war, the only Germans that are left were the ones who weren't Nazis all along

No Allied soldier did anything remotely bad during their war, they were all angels of liberation who's conduct is beyond reproach.

America doesn't feel like trying Japanese and German war criminals if they can help make WMDs for the Cold War.

Germany and Japan become richer and more successful than many of the countries they were defeated by, Vietnam didn't learn this lesson.

Ade

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Japanese rape and murder millions of Chinese.

Russia murders millions of Poles and lies bare faced about it.

anathema

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No-one remembers the British and Commonwealth forces in the Far East or in North Africa, WWII only consists of the Battle of Britain, Pearl Harbour, D-Day and maybe something about Stalingrad with Jude Law.

Jeridian

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Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the British & Canadians.)

UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.

So very, very true.

Great find.

wilsonian

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Nice add about the british there Si,

Also

US and Britain Send arms and equipment to russia - ruskies can't RTFM (read the f%^king manuals) so most is lost on the battle fields
British nerds crack the enigma code thus being able to hear what jerry is doing - everyone now thinks some yanks in a boat did it....
Italians invade egypt, Britain slaps on the sun cream and nicks lybia off them for it.
Germans can't beleive the italians folded so send some chap call Rommel and he takes back lybia and pushes into Egypt
English are put under pressure but thanks to allied efforts (note not just yanks hollywood) landing are made at Morocco and Algeria.
Combined Allied effort forces the Jerries to surrender in Africa - Rommel flee's back to his mummy - I mean hitler
French are asked to provide their navy to the allies - France refuses so the british sink them. Selfish french.

anathema

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::importPlugin() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/viewtopic.php on line 598

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British nerds crack the enigma code thus being able to hear what jerry is doing - everyone now thinks Jon Bon Jovi did it....

Fixed.

Jeridian

Strict Standards: Non-static method JPluginHelper::importPlugin() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/viewtopic.php on line 598

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Hitler declares peace, then starts war. At the time it is unthinkable for a politician to lie...
So much so that the Allies fall for it several times.

It is also considered smart politics to give aggressive dictators exactly what they want.

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/include/functions.php on line 621

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/include/functions.php on line 622

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/include/functions.php on line 623

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /data04/aroberts/public_html/components/com_agora/include/functions.php on line 629

Last edited by Jeridian (2009-07-24 11:04:06)

Ade

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Tom Hanks Gives his life in Normandy to save Matt Damon.

anathema

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Matt Damon!

Dasyatis

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anathema wrote:
No-one remembers the British and Commonwealth forces in the Far East or in North Africa, WWII only consists of the Battle of Britain, Pearl Harbour, D-Day and maybe something about Stalingrad with Jude Law.

Thats because I have nothing to remember about it.

Blame a general lack of interest for war by the general population and the fact that schools only teach the bits above. I have absolutely no idea what happened with the Far East or North Africa bits.

Jeridian

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How can you call yourself a wargamer and not have a scary in-depth knowledge of WW2, hang your head in shame.

Grotsmeg

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Remember Churchill constantly smoked cigars and all sexual deviants have tache's
Its all you need to know.

anathema

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Dasyatis wrote:
Blame a general lack of interest for war by the general population and the fact that schools only teach the bits above. I have absolutely no idea what happened with the Far East or North Africa bits.

Po-faced reply: Not really a dig at your or the general population's knowledge, I don't expect most people to know anything about it these days, but mainly the way that popular culture portrays the most important conflict in recent history. You'd think that the Americans won it single-handedly whereas the vast majority of the fighting and the dying was done in the Soviet Union and the Far East was fought over by Britain and the Commonwealth long before the US entered.

WWII has shaped the history of the last 60 years in massive ways, but history from that long ago is pretty boring to most people.

The war in the Far East led to the formation of the People's Republic of China and Japan becoming a massive economy for a start. The North African conflict has less modern echoes that I can think of, but had the African war not been fought Germany may well have defeated the Soviets (which would have been game over) and would have had access to the Middle Eastern oil wells and controlled the Med. There would have also been an Italian Empire in Africa rather than its eventual defeat and Britain would have lost a large part of its Empire early.

Dasyatis

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Jeridian wrote:
How can you call yourself a wargamer and not have a scary in-depth knowledge of WW2, hang your head in shame.

I have knowledge, its just all about elfs and goblins and stuff like that. Practical, useful things. You might know about stuff thats happened but if we ever find ourselves locked in a room with a Beholder or a Mindflayer I think I *might* come out of it better.

anathema wrote:
... he way that popular culture portrays the most important conflict in recent history. You'd think that the Americans won it single-handedly ...

Well thats only really as popular culture pretty much *is* American culture. I don`t think it would really be possible for a film to convey accurately and completely World War 2. I also don`t think it should really have to. It`s a film. People know that the Enigma machine was decoded by the brits. If they don`t, who cares ? Its not like we personally did it. I don`t feel slighted that people think the work of somebody I have no connection to was done by somebody else I have no connection to.

Dr. Bizarre

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It's the principle of taking credit for other peoples work. Most people get their version of events from movies, and it is very unfair on the people that actually cracked the codes, as they are being written out of history. Imagine if it was one of your relatives that did it, you'd be pretty p'd off if people asked you if your great grandad was Jon Bon Jovi all the time. Our relatives fought and died to rid the world of tyranny, and I think it is important that we remember them, and at least show an interest in the most important event of the century we were all born in.

Dasyatis

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Dr. Bizarre wrote:
It's the principle of taking credit for other peoples work.

In general, I`d agree. If Bon Jovi declared that he had cracked the enigma coding during the second world war then I`d declare him a fool and be done with it. Its a film though.

Not everything that happens in films has to be real.

Dr. Bizarre

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no, but a film about an actual event should educate as well as entertain.

Dasyatis

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Dr. Bizarre wrote:
no, but a film about an actual event should educate as well as entertain.

Why ?

jimmy

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Sorry. You have to be registered to access this content.

WW2 in pictures

Grotsmeg

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excellent find it educates as well as entertains.

Ade

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anathema

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Haha!

WWII on Facebook:

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commie bob

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also russia attacks finland and has to abandon cause half thier tanks fall in a frozen lake, british send equipment to aid finland also. soviet forces take a lot of casualties running at finnish MG's all day

Dr. Bizarre

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Why did the Brits aid the Finns against Ivan? The Russians were our allies. I'm confused.

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Brief Guide to WW2

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